The Princess of Tokamachi

Hisashiburi!!!

2006-10-19T23:31:00.000+09:00

Reasons for length of time since last post; home computer sucks. Non broadband interent sucks. Laziness.

Sorry ive been crap, hope all is still going well in the land of Japan. I miss Japan!!

Ive been back in Blighty about 3 weeks maybe now, going well, really enjoying being home (think this has something to do with knowing its not forever tho..) Spending lots of time with my family and loving every minute of it, a couple of minor spats, but all in all pretty successful, fingers crossed for the next 10 weeks....!! Got a job in a pub round the corner from my house, and maybe landed a job in a cool little shop called 'Pure', and also maybe a saturday job in a surf/skate/boarding shop, if that comes thru il be the happiest girl on the planet! My sister is tirelessly devoted to finding me a local boy boyfriend whilst im here (very unsuccessful!!)

Ive been a little poor at getting to see people so far, but saving abit of cash is kinda prioritised, hoping to head about abit in a wk or so. I was so excited about watching TV but have actually found that (with the exception of the Jane Ayre four-parter) Ive not really watched alot. Loving buying a newspaper every morning and reading it in the conservatory with a mug of coffee, loving reading magazines (although they are full of minor celebrities that I dont know).

Weather is lush lush lush here at the moment, nothing like a typical October, today is blue sky t-shirt weather.

Foodwise im really missing Japan!! Ive gorged alittle too much on Jacket potatoes, grapes, soup, baked beans etc, and am now craving yaki soba, omerice and yakitori. But good old curry is seeing me thru :)

I havent managed to charge my dead camera yet, and need to swap this awful slow computer with my slightly better one soon, then I will upload some pics, mainly of food i imagine...!

Off to the doctors now, to finally put right all the ailments ive had for 2 years but not wanted to run the risk of telling a japanese doctor and ending up with an IV in my arm....

Big kisses to everyone, love hugs and kisses xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

2006-09-12T18:08:00.002+09:00

Kyushu, the most beautiful place in the world.

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View from our hotel room, Sakurajima.

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My arty picture.

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Me n Ryan with Sakurajima in the background.

2006-09-12T18:06:00.000+09:00

In Kyushu with Ryan, a wee bit tipsy on one cup sake.

2006-09-12T17:59:00.001+09:00

On the way to Disney Sea, the excitement was just too much...

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At Disney Sea

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My favourite beach near Okazaki

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Osaka

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Osaka Aquarium

2006-09-12T17:54:00.000+09:00

In Nara, a guy getting attacked, couldnt stop laughing.

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me n kaori

2006-09-12T17:51:00.000+09:00

Me and Paka on Kaoris boat :)

2006-09-12T17:50:00.000+09:00

Some pictures from the summer, Obon in Tokamachi

2006-07-20T13:58:00.000+09:00

With my boys, last day at Kawanishi Koko.

2006-07-20T13:57:00.000+09:00

We missed the first train home, dont know what time we finally crashed but it was well into my birthday!!!! wicked night guys, thank you!

2006-07-20T13:56:00.000+09:00

With the Tokamachi Crew who came up for my bday, (and brought a tres oishi cake!)

2006-07-20T13:55:00.001+09:00

Me and Linds @ party

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Kaori came upto Niigata city to hangout for just 2 hours, because it was my birthday, you RULE Kaori!! Thank you :)

2006-07-20T13:54:00.000+09:00

Me Hiten and Kaori @ Sayonara party last sunday

2006-07-14T07:36:00.000+09:00

Recently Ive been thinking alot about my first year in Japan. The Tokamachi girls; me, Holly, Amy and Annie :)

the joy

2006-07-13T15:13:00.000+09:00

yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay my school has internet today!! :) first time in months... still cant email but what the hey, some internet is better than none.

My school have also today given me loads of moving out info, and they are being really really kind and helpful, which has taken a huge load off my mind. They are helping to remove loads of the large furniture cuz they feel bad since it isnt actually mine. They also know what a messy dump it was when i moved in.

School are also planning loads of enkais, which is all well and good, but next week is going to be hectic!! I thought this week was crazy enough. Cleaning my apt out, in this heat, with a hangover, isnt going to be pretty.

2006-07-12T07:19:00.000+09:00

Monkey Erik fighting Samurai

2006-07-12T07:18:00.000+09:00

Paka and his partner in insanity, Shimada Sensei. Hardcore boys. Omedeto!!

2006-07-12T07:17:00.001+09:00

Just finished! Otsukare!!! :)

2006-07-12T07:17:00.000+09:00

Speeeeedy Paka

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Paka about to finish...

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Linds and Erik at Pakas Triatholon on Sunday

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ooooooooou! Look at that cleavage...!! ;)

2006-07-12T07:12:00.000+09:00

Me and the beautiful wonderful Gracie, who is deserting me and heading to Law school in Canada, Luuuuuurrrve uuuuuuuuu!!

2006-07-10T22:53:00.000+09:00

At Sakai

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hahaha... i love them!

2006-07-10T22:52:00.000+09:00

Shizuka and I tonight at my sayonara dinner.

2006-07-10T22:49:00.000+09:00

Me n Linds

2006-07-10T22:47:00.000+09:00

Me n Linds kicking Eriks ass at the Samurai Mura.

saikin

2006-07-10T19:46:00.000+09:00

Life is goooooooooooooooooooooooooooood. There have been some huge ups and downs recently, I guess an underlying theme is leaving JET and facing the inevitable sayonaras. It kills me sometimes, and Ive had some good cries over it. But I know that waiting at the otherside is a whole world of adventures, and I have to keep reminding myself. Leaving JET aside, everything is lush, Im having so much fun, and this weekend was no exception. From a party in Muikamachi on Friday until the movie last night, it was a filled weekend, with beaching, bbqing, triatholons, samurai villages and much much more. It ruled. Great company, beautiful views, cool tunes.

Just had my goodbye party with some of my girl students who ive become really close to. 10 of us headed to our local Yakiniku and talked boys for 3 hours, my kinda night!! :) They were incredible, they have been for the last 2 years, and my life is going to be a little empty without them in it.

2006-07-07T12:22:00.001+09:00

Congratulations Maggie and Craig!! (Thank you to Beth for the pictures! :) )

2006-07-07T12:22:00.000+09:00

Maggie and Craigs little boy; Ben, Kawaii!!! :)

2006-07-07T12:21:00.000+09:00

Richie, Brian and Alex at Maggies wedding

2006-07-07T12:20:00.000+09:00

My girls; Hana, Dannie, Lucy, Jane and Beth, at Maggies wedding. I MISS YOU!!

2006-07-07T12:19:00.000+09:00

Tomboy transformed! The beautiful Maggie... Congratulations luv!! :)

Men and Women

2006-07-04T19:55:00.000+09:00

A while ago, some of my 3rd year (17/18yr old) girls came to see me (the girls in the pictures below!) They come quite often to ask my opinions about things like University etc, but this time it was different. Their question was "what is the difference between 'like' and 'love'?"
and they actually wanted me to solve this for them!!! I was like 'errrrrrrrrrrrrrm!!'
I finally came up with something about being able to live without something you liked, but being unable to live without something you loved. I tried to use food as an example, but it was quite obvious we were talking about boys!! The one girl was trying to decide if she was in love with her boyfriend. They were concerned that they were 18 and hadnt been in love yet, it was a very thought provoking conversation.

In that vain, I read this in the book Ive just finished (Eleven Minutes by Paulo Coelho) and thought it was very cool...

According to Plato, at the begining of creation, men and women were not as they are now; there was just one being, who was rather short, with a body and a neck, but his head had tow faces, looking in different directions. It was as if two creatures had been glued back to back, with two sets of sex organs, four legs and four arms.

The Greek Gods, however, were jealous, because this creature with four arms could work harder, with its two faces, it was always vigilant and could not be taken by surprise, and its four legs meant it could stand or walk for longer periods of time without tiring. Even more dangerous was the fact that the creature had two sets of sex organs and so needed no one else to continue reproducing.

Zeus, the supreme lord of Olympus said 'I have a plan to make these mortals lose some of their strength.'

And he cut the creature in two with a lightning bolt, thus creating man and woman. This greatly increased the population of the world, and, at the same time, disoriented amd weakened its inhabitants, because now they had to search for their lost half and embrace it, and, in that embrace, regain their former strength, their ability to avoid betrayal and the strength to walk for long periods at a time and to withstand hard work.

I hate Ronaldo...

2006-07-04T18:21:00.000+09:00

Got this from Kats blog... bloody genius!!

http://www.ihateronaldo.com/

2006-07-03T15:12:00.000+09:00

These pictures are from Jo (the dude in the hat) he is Kaori & Yukis mate from Uni too. Huge THANK YOU to Jo for the pics because I only had my keitai camera :(

2006-07-03T15:09:00.000+09:00

Im probably saying "oh my goooooooood!!" .... seriously couldnt have been more of a loser if Id tried....!!!

2006-07-03T15:08:00.001+09:00

Kaori introducing me and Yuki (MICRO from DefTech)

2006-07-03T15:08:00.000+09:00

I was soooooo UNcool!!! I couldnt string proper sentences together....

Im dead sophisticated me...

2006-06-29T18:16:00.000+09:00

Last night I had a dinner party, I cooked pasta, we sat in my uncharacteristically tidy apt and talked about nice things, very grown up.

The we decided we wanted to go play on our skateboards.

So we headed onto my school carpark and played, got a little bored with the limitations and decided to go to Jusco (a supermarket) and play in their carpark....

So bundled into Pakas car and drove down, we played for a little (next to a crew of bad asses with their rude cars) then went and got icecream, played a little more, a crashed and got my first graze since childhood. We did some print club, and headed back out to skate somemore.

Paka put some NERD on, we were having a right little party in the Jusco carpark. THEN...
the police turned up!! hahahahahahahahaha.... three officers jumped out of their car, pads in hand. I think at this point we all pictured our Principals faces. "yamete, abunai, dame" boring boring boring.

hahahahahahahahahaha.... so now we have to find a better place to play. Apparently Jusco carpark isnt a good choice.

Sogo Sports

2006-06-29T18:07:00.000+09:00

Just finished sports day at Sogo Koko (yea literally... it went over by 2 hours, at 5:30 we were having presentations!) Again the students proved how incredibly wicked they are. The costumes/posters/dances everything was wonderful. They are so passionate about it and I just love watching them.
I was chatting to another teacher and she was saying that for san nenseis sports day and bunkasai are the two highlights in an otherwise, kinda difficult final year of study. During the presentation today quite afew of the san nensei were crying, but this really hit home when one of my students, an 18 year old boy, the captain of the winning team, had tears trickling down his cheeks. There was no drama, no attention seeking, just proper emotion; happiness from winning, sadness from realising his school days were numbered, Im not sure why, but it was harsh watching his heart in such anguish. I just wanted to give him a cuddle.

Il put some pictures up later. They did the tyre game again, the girls at sogo were so much more vicious, there was blood everywhere.... My favourite dance was done by the yellow team; at one point the group are all chanting "nonde nonde nonde nonde nonde...." (a drinking chant basically drink drink drink) and the san nenseis produced a bottle of squash (?) and started necking it.... brilliant!!

2006-06-26T22:36:00.000+09:00

View from Ben Nevis

2006-06-26T20:40:00.000+09:00

Me and Keiko beautifying ourselves

2006-06-21T16:45:00.000+09:00

With the Joetsu girls, Hanami, Takada Koen, 2005.

2006-06-21T16:44:00.000+09:00

The boat back from Earth Celebrations 2004.

2006-06-21T16:42:00.000+09:00

Annie, Tif and Beth, such a cute picture.

2006-06-21T16:41:00.000+09:00

Sorry Erik I just had to, this picture makes me laugh so much, taken about a year and a bit ago.

2006-06-20T19:49:00.000+09:00

we love you england, we do, oh england we love you...!

2006-06-20T19:41:00.000+09:00

Who let America into the World Cup???!

2006-06-20T19:37:00.001+09:00

Rooney Rooney Rooney Rooney....

2006-06-20T19:37:00.000+09:00

Future Mr Hopkins (the fit Japanese boy not the ugly Croatian!)

Sakka

2006-06-19T18:49:00.000+09:00

Ive already put pictures from last weekend up, but wanted to write a little about it.

Saturday was an odd day. On Thurday night/ Fri morning, we stayed up to watch England play (3am), so Friday I was exhausted at school. So Fri night I went to bed, and was asleep by 8pm(!) I had it in my head Id sleep through until morning because I was so tired, but instead, I woke up 8 hours later. By four am I was proper awake. The sun was up, and so was I. I cleaned my apt until 6am, had brekkie, then eventually decided to drive to Joetsu (about an hour each way) to go to a foreign food store. I arrived home again at about 11am. All morning I was trying to decide if I could be bothered to go to the boys footie on sat night or sunday morning. Obviously I wanted to go, there was a party on the sat night, and I wanted to see everyone, but we hadnt booked a room, and it was all getting hectic. Keiko and I finally decided to go, so at 2pm I picked her up and we headed off on our roadtrip to Sugadaira. Ive been there 3 times before, all to watch the boys play footie in a competition they have twice a year. Its right up in the mountains and quite beautiful the drive is especially nice.

We arrived as the boys were just finishing their last game, so we went for an onsen, and to a nice Italian resturant, then to meet the boys in the hotel. To thank them for letting us stay we brought them some Sake, Im blaming this sake for how messy I ended up. We hung out in the room for a while making plans for next year, me becoming a hostess, SPANK being my pimp etc etc... eventually we made it down to the quiz. I HATE SPORTS QUIZES. Maybe its cuz i dont know any answers. I dont know, but it was boring. Luckily I had good company and was kept entertained. We chugged sake until we could face no more and headed onto Vodka. The girls arrived around 10pm, the dancing got going, nice nice. The night ended sat in the corridor, drinking more sake. It was a lush nite. One of those 'god i have wicked friends' kinda nights. Everyone was on form, it wasnt too hectic, just nice, chilled and time to chat.

Ryan woke the room up with his alarm clocks at like 7:30. I think Id been asleep 3 or 4 hours. Not pretty. Ran to the onsen to sort myself out, and it worked quite well.
The day was a nastily rainy one, I wasnt looking forward to standing in the rain, but it turned out to be alot of fun. And the clouds parted fairly quickly to make way for a beautful day. The boys were wicked good and we had fun cheering them on (by we I mean the others, I lost my voice on saturday from a cold Id had all week... not happy) Niigata came second overall, they did good! :)

The drive home was nasty, my eyes were shutting, I planned to go home for a nap before heading out to watch the Japan game (my town was having a party because Tokamachi hosted Croatia when they had the world cup, so officially Tokamachi is supporting Croatia this world cup...idiots) but I just couldnt make it. I was a total rightoff. Woke up this morning feeling like id been hit by a car. But a brilliant weekend, wouldnt have changed a second of it.

Walked up to see keiko in town earlier, beautiful sunny day, students everywhere chatting and waving to me, Tokamachi is such a beautiful place, I love living here. Gutted its only for 6 more weeks, but determined not to dwell on that, just enjoy the time I have left and leave it happy that Ive had such a wonderful experience. Even if i never live here again, Il be visiting for sure.

2006-06-19T18:48:00.001+09:00

The 'debbie playing' creation

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The Ikebana creation

2006-06-19T18:47:00.000+09:00

The start

Ikebana

2006-06-19T18:31:00.000+09:00

Its been pretty hectic of late, not had much time to write, so thought id start with a little about Ikebana. Ikebana is Japanese flower arranging. At an enkai (piss up) with my teachers, some of our now departed teachers came, one of them, Sugimoto sensei said that she practices Ikebana, in my drunken state I started telling her stories of my mum being a florest when she was younger etc etc... and somehow agreed to joining the class. So 3 weeks ago I went along to my first lesson, alittle bit dubious, but thought it would be fun for my final couple of months. Ikebana isnt the coolest thing in the world (just like tea ceremony - when my kids found out I was learning tea ceremony they laughed so hard they were crying) So i was trying to sneak into the community hall place where it was held, when a huge car with thumping base pulls up along side me, and someone shouts "debbie hisashiburi" (long time no see) I turn to see a boy I used to know, who I havent seen for ages, who is on his way to teach hiphop dance classes at the same place, he asks me what Im doing, I make up some lie about meeting a friend and made a swift run for it. I met Sugimoto sensei in the entrance and hurried her off to the room. safe. or so i thought. The lesson gets underway, Ive got my flowers, my vase, my scissors, Im cutting away, and then i hear laughing, I look up and the evil little bugger is stood in the doorway pointing and laughing at me. git. (He went on to send me a mail later in the evening laughing at me, and I bumped into him the next day in the gym, couldnt get away from him!)

Anyways, the rest of the lesson was so fun, I didnt imagine it would be, but there is something very peaceful and relaxing about it, just like tea ceremony. I was given the flowers at the end of the lesson and told to go home and practice. Instead I came home, chopped them off and put them in a vase made out of an old water bottle.

I went again last Thursday, dont think Ive improved, but the teacher is a really nice lady, and i think she just wants me to have fun, so she lets me play alot. I thought my non Ikebana, 'debbie style' creations were great. She didnt. Apparently even debbie playtime has to be in Ikebana style :( booorrrring.

Im going to post some of the pictures of my arrangements.

2006-06-19T17:48:00.000+09:00

A messy messy night...

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Justine looking hot as always

2006-06-19T13:39:00.000+09:00

Happy Birthday Mummy, Happy Fathers Day Daddy! :) Luuurrrrrve youuuuuuuuuu xxx

2006-06-19T13:37:00.003+09:00

The boys...

2006-06-19T13:37:00.002+09:00

Sunday Afternoon...

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Sunday morning...

2006-06-19T13:37:00.000+09:00

Linds (looking hot!) Ben n I

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Me, Grace and SPANK.

2006-06-19T13:36:00.000+09:00

Tam, Justine, Grace and me. Sat night at Nagano Footie party.

Stuuuuupid Debbie

2006-06-17T05:50:00.000+09:00

Right now its 5:45am Saturday morning. I have been awake for 2 hours. This is because I went to bed at 7pm last night, and was well asleep by 8pm. Thurs night/ Fri morning was England V T&T, so I stayed up til 3am watching it. Had 4 hours kip and went to work, so last night I was exhausted. Unfortunately I was under the misconception that I would need lots of sleep, but apparently not. Now Im bored. After reading my book, watching a movie, and trying on some outfits for a party Im going to tonight; Ive decided to continue my packing.

My apartment currently looks like a bombs hit it. I have boxes and piles of stuff everywhere, and really just want it gone. But packing is so much harder than I ever thought it would be, the main problem is I dont know what I will want, or what will retain any sentimental attachment once Im back in England, or in 5/10/15 years time. Im a real hoarder. I keep recepts from nice resturants, tickets from festivals/temples/museums, train/plane/boat tickets from journeys. But, as nice as it will be to look through a box of this stuff once a year, really, is it worth flying it home? no.

So Im packing and repacking, trying to reduced the size (or mainly weight) of the boxes.

Japan doesnt have much of a charitable nature, so there isnt really any proceedure for giving clothes and such, we dont have charity shops at all. I never realised how much I relied on charity shops in England to reduced the size of my wardrobe. They do provide an excellent service!!! So Ive been reduced to putting my clothes out for the bin man. Its so sad watching my beautiful things, which Im sure someone would want, going to be burnt. But its just soooo expensive to send it all home, and as a compulsive shopper, I just own too much.

Ive also found out that as I am not having a replacement ALT in my apartment, it is my responsibility to empty it completely, and by that I mean my bed, sofa, CD player, microwave etc etc... absolutely everything. Nightmare.

2006-06-16T18:15:00.000+09:00

At 3am this morning.... England 2 T&T 0

2006-06-16T18:14:00.000+09:00

Supportin the Samurai Blue...

2006-06-16T18:08:00.000+09:00

some of the "cool" boys... you gotta love them...

2006-06-16T18:07:00.000+09:00

of course, there are injuries...

2006-06-16T18:06:00.001+09:00

and then they fight....

2006-06-16T18:06:00.000+09:00

The girls game... they must collect as many tyres as possible, so the teams run to grab them...

2006-06-16T18:05:00.000+09:00

and fight.... yes they take their tops off, sit on each others shoulders, and fight... (they have to get the coloured headband off each other...

2006-06-16T18:01:00.000+09:00

bring it on....

2006-06-16T18:00:00.001+09:00

Then the "sports" begin...

2006-06-16T18:00:00.000+09:00

Students make posters, costumes and team cheers...

2006-06-16T17:59:00.000+09:00

Sports day... starts with a group stretch...

2006-06-14T19:08:00.000+09:00

Blast from the past... just looking through Marties pics, this is one from August 2004 in the Black Pig. A couple of months before I met Luke... random hey....

2006-06-12T19:16:00.000+09:00

Koji and Kaori in Kobe yesterday.

2006-06-12T19:15:00.001+09:00

Kat n her boy Leif at Kobe docs

2006-06-12T19:15:00.000+09:00

Justine, her boy Marek(spelling??), Ben n me, the last standing on sat night.

2006-06-12T19:14:00.000+09:00

kawaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii :)

2006-06-12T19:13:00.000+09:00

Me n Hiten - the blighty massive

2006-06-12T19:12:00.000+09:00

Me n Koji

2006-06-12T19:11:00.001+09:00

Kaori n Koji at Rokuon-ji

2006-06-12T19:11:00.000+09:00

Me n Kaori in Kyoto.

Roadtrip! ;)

2006-06-12T18:20:00.000+09:00

Friday lunchtime, I headed to Joetsu to meet the girls (Kat, Kate, Justine and Pam) on the expressway to start our lil adventure down to Kansai. Even with 5 of us in an ikle k-car, Kat flew us down the motorway and we hit Fukui in no time at all. From there we caught a train across, I was only going as far as Kyoto whilst the girls continued onto Kobe. I met Kaori and Koji in Kyoto and we rejoined the girls in Kobe on Sat night.
Friday night after arriving in Kyoto at about 8pm, I headed to Gion and Pontocho, had a couple of possible Geisha sightings, saw some cool buildings. Kyoto is pretty similar in many ways to all Japanese cities, it still has some ugly modern buildings, loads of hostess bars etc etc, Me n Kaori decided that really the cool thing about Kyoto is picturing it how it used to be, and that is quite breathtaking.

We got an early start Sat am, and did the temple spotting. We decided to do it all by bus, which proved to be a total nightmare, especially as me and Kaori are both total liabilities and we kept missing our stops! Rokuon-ji was pretty cool (will post pics soon!) My favourite was our last of the day, but unfortunately I cant remember its name!!! but it ruled, and we stayed there a while. Kyoto needs so much time devoted to it, because it really is a wonderful city. Id love to go there for a couple of weeks, but even then I think Id only just skim the surface.

Saturday evening we headed to Kobe to meet the girls, and watch the world cup!! The Niigata boys footie team were there playing in a competition so we all hooked up for the game. It was so nice being together for it. Kaori and Koji were well amused by our passion. The game wasnt wonderful but we won so spirits were high as we headed into town. We went to a gaijin bar first which wasnt making us very genkified so we found another bar which filled all criteria, drinks, music, dancing, pool... We ended up staggering home at about 5am... became a very messy night. Reminded me of the old "Enjoy" days... Saturday was also one of my best mates wedding day, CONGRATULATIONS to Maggie and Craig!! :) Sara called me so I could listen to the speaches, and I got to have a nice chat with the bride aswell as Beth and Lucy. To say I was homesick when I finally hung up would be an understatement. Tears ran down my cheeks as I longed to be celebrating with them.

Sunday was spent in Kobe, we went to an earthquake memorial sight, the docs, China town, it was a beautiful day, but unfortunately my extreme hang over kept slowing us down (sorry guys!!)

Everything in the weekend was perfect, Seeing Kaori and Koji was unbelievably lovely, hanging out with the girls, the party on Saturday, England winning, the weather, I had a serious "Im in Japan, I love my life" moment sat at a service station (of all places) on a bench looking out to the ocean on our way home. Im so lucky.

We stopped at Bens for a coffee on our way home, so I finally got home just after midnight, this morning I thought I was dying, but it was sooooo worth the huge bags that are dominating my eyes.

About to head to the pub to watch Japan V Australia. Gambatte boys.

2006-06-12T18:17:00.000+09:00

Justine, Kate, Kat, Pam n I by the ocean on our drive home (again Justines blog! sorry!! I will upload my pics asap!) Wicked weekend guys, thanks!! :)

2006-06-12T18:15:00.000+09:00

James, Pam, Me, Kat, Kate and Martie (again from Justines blog!)

2006-06-12T18:14:00.000+09:00

James, Kate, Ben, Me, Martie and Kat (borrowed from Justines blog) on our way home from Kobe last night.

2006-06-06T21:06:00.002+09:00

big air.... (these Appi-jin boys really kick ass...)